WORST IDEA 5/31/10: Quit Facebook Day

In addition to being Memorial Day, Monday marks the debut of a new holiday -- Quit Facebook Day. The event, organized by a bunch of losers on a Web site, aims to have people quit the popular social networking site -- you know the one you and everyone you ever met are one -- over privacy concerns. You will, of course, have complete privacy when you leave Facebook and head for the barren landscape of whatever other social networking sites remain. Good luck over at Friendster and I'm sure they'll turn the lights back on for you over at MySpace. I'm staying at Facebook so I can know when someone I went to third grade with goes to lunch.

It's Quit Facebook Day, Are You Leaving? - PCWorld

WORST IDEA 5/30/10: BP to try, try again

Now that the "top fill" method has failed, BP has plans for a new, even more ridiculous plan to stop the millions of gallons of oil that are pouring into the Gulf of Mexico. Better yet, the new plan will take four days before we know if it works and if it does work, it won't stop the entire leak. One must question why the giant oil well in the middle of the ocean was not built with an off switch or any sort of fail-safe device. More importantly, perhaps, we should also question how many times we should let these idiots try to solve the problem before we call in the military or, maybe, Aquaman.
BBC News - BP says new Gulf oil leak plan 'not guaranteed' to work

WORST IDEA 5/29/10: Memorial Day Parades

Marching Bands! Old People! Floats! Crowds of people! None of these things are entertaining and it's not appropriate to get drunk at 11 a.m. when honoring veterans, so these parades have absolutely no positives. How about we just drop off a six pack at the VFW and call it a day?

WORST IDEA 5/28/10: Using a tanning bed

As if we needed a study to tell us that baking oneself in a tanning bed might have some negative effects, we now have a definitive study that says just that. New research shows that people who use tanning beds have a 74% increased risk of developing melanoma, the deadliest kind of skin cancer. On the positive side, these people, you know, before they die, have that appealing orange glow that attracts Jersey Shore meatheads, Donald Trump and people with an unholy fixation on Oompa Loompas.

Tanning Beds Triple Melanoma Risk

WORST IDEA 5/27/10: Bland nobody wins American Idol

It took an entire television season to end up with an American Idol with no personality, a mediocre voice and absolutely no stage presence? To make matters worse, Lee DeWyze celebrated his coronation as America's next famous singer soon to be appearing on a cruise ship by singing a wretched version of U2's "Beautiful Day." The song was sung in the exact arrangement U2 uses which only illustrated that DeWyze is no Bono. This continues the series' inability to create new stars. With the exception of Kelly Clarkson (the first winner) and Carrie Underwood, no American Idol champ has gone on to a successful career. Most, in fact, find themselves reduced to appearing in gimmicky Broadway shows ("Grease" is the word!) or slumming in reality TV in less than two years. This year will prove no exception as DeWyze simply lacks the presence of a star and he's likely to be reduced to the Six Flags/state fair circuit pretty quickly.

The Associated Press: How DeWyze won 'American Idol'

WORST IDEA 5/26/10: Muslim Center going to Ground Zero

Much like building a German history museum on the site of a former concentration camp, buulding a Muslim Center at Ground Zero may not technically be wrong, but it sure feels wrong. I know that being a Muslim does not mean you're linked to Osama bin Laden, but, well, let's just say that there would not be an empty hole in the ground where the World Trade Center buildings used to be available for building if a few Muslims hadn't been quite so extreme in their views.

Local Board Endorses Muslim Center Near Ground Zero - NYTimes.com

WORST IDEA 5/25/10: Liza Minnelli covers Beyonce

Not content with having the least appealing movie of all time for straight men, the producers of Sex and The City 2 decided to make things just a little bit worse by including a scene where Liza Minnelli covers Beyonce's "Single Ladies." Covering this song has already become a cliche and when you're following The Chipettes in doing something it's safe to say you're not being original. That didn't stop this wretched interpretation (sung in Minnelli's traditional campy/can't really sing style) of the already pretty awful song from being included in the film that's sure to be the moment of the year for delusional middle age women everywhere.

Listen: Liza Minnelli Covers Beyonce’s Single Ladies

WORST IDEA 5/24/10: Bret Michaels risks life for TV appearance

Having almost died from a brain hemorrhage, Bret Michaels appeared on the finale of The Celebrity Apprentice despite his doctors warning him that going on the show might kill him. Michaels, the bandanned singer of crap-metal band Poison also had what his doctors called a "warning stroke" earlier this week. Still, that did not stop the singer/reality whore from appearing on the show whose grand prize is, in fact, nothing. At least Michaels knows what's important in life -- appearing on TV at all costs.

Bret Michaels has reason to party after Trump 'hires' him in 'Celebrity Apprentice' finale - latimes.com

WORST IDEA 5/23/10: Saturday Night Live keeps spinning off movies

Despite an abject history of failure, the producers of Saturday Night Live continue to insist on making movies with thin premises and no commercial appeal. The latest bomb, MacGruber actually looks mildly funny, but it opened to less then $7 million at the box office. That makes a $15 million domestic box office unlikely and even with a healthy second-life on video (which seems likely) it's nearly impossible for the movie to make money. Saturday Night Live has funny people who do well when put into original movies (see the career of Tina Fey) but it's time to retire the idea of spinning of thinly-developed characters into feature length films.

‘Shrek 4′ Opens To $72M Weekend; ‘MacGruber’ Bombs – Deadline.com

WORST IDEA 5/22/10: texas gives in to the religious right

Students in Texas will now be taught to question whether there needs to be a separation between church as part of the state's newly adopted social studies/history curriculum. This frightening turn of events comes at the encouragement of the religious right who want a return to prayer in school and who want the church to play a leading role in politics. That should work out fabulously as religions have done such a great job in running their own affairs that we should, of course, let them run the country.

More conservative textbook curriculum OK'd | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | News: Education

WORST IDEA 5/21/10: Dalai Lama holds Twitter chat

The Dalai Lama, one of the greatest spiritual leaders in history, will be doling out enlightenment in 140 character bursts today via Twitter. Mr. Lama plans to answer questions from people in China who are technically not allowed to access Twitter. This should work out great if all of the questions fall into the yes/no variety. I personally have submitted "Is Justin Bieber dreamy?" and "Do you think Brad and Angie should have more kids?"

Dalai Lama to hold Twitter chat today | TG Daily

WORST IDEA 5/20/10" Megan Fox drops out of "Transformers 3"

Megan Fox, whose principal acting talent appears to be looking good in tight clothes, claims she chose to drop out of Transformers 3. Though early reports, claimed she was replaced in the film, Fox's people are saying that she opted out. If that's true, this will be a decision that goes down with some of the classic bad actor choices along with "David Caruso leaves NYPD Blue for movies" and "Wil Wheaton leaves Star Trek: The Next Generation." On the positive side, with choice like this and a couple more films like Jennifer's Body we're about a year from Fox doing Playboy or being the star of an "accidental" sex tape.

Megan Fox Says She Chose To Leave 'Transformers 3' - Movie News Story | MTV Movie News

WORST IDEA 5/19/10: Sen. Arlen Specter becomes a Democrat

Five-term Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter lost a primary to little known challenger Rep. Joe Sestak. Specter, a Republican for his first 29 years in the Senate, switched parties when he realized he stood no chance in a Republican primary. Of course, though Specter has always been a left-leaning Republican, he's still essentially a Republican, which, not unsurprisingly, turned off some Democratic voters.

Sen. Arlen Specter ousted in backlash | freep.com | Detroit Free Press

WORST IDEA 5/18/10: Miss USA takes to the pole

Perhaps we should just accept that every beauty contest contestant has some racy photos somewhere in her background. Apparently, all good-looking women drawn to beauty pageants also like to pose for PG-13 pictures that are not quite sexy enough to be scandalous, but just sexy enough to be news. The latest semi-nude faux scandal comes as pictures of the current Miss USA Rima Fakih competing in a radio station stripper contest. This is apparently disturbing because the existence of the pictures might make it hard for Miss USA to complete her diplomatic duties and meet with world leaders to negotiate treaties. I'm sure, if Miss USA was not such an important intellectual icon to the American people and merely a pretty girl who waves, then these pictures would not be a big deal.

Browser: Photos of Miss USA Rima Fakih in pole dancing contest hit the Web | freep.com | Detroit Free Press

WORST IDEA 5/17/10: BP brags about failure

After weeks of total failure, executives at British Petroleum (BP) are celebrating the partial failure of their latest effort to contain the massive leak pumping oil into the Gulf of Mexico. After all earlier attempts failed at a rate of 100%, they are touting that their latest Acme-inspired scheme -- a big straw to suck the spilling oil into a boat -- has managed to contain 20% of the gushing oil. This seems a lot like firefighters bragging if they manage to contain 20% of the fire burning your house down ("good news, we've saved the guest bedroom, too bad about the rest of the house."

FOXNews.com - BP Tube Getting Over One-Fifth of Gushing Oil, Executives Say

WORST IDEA 5/16/10: Parents let 16-year-old sail around the world

While most parents -- you know, the responsible oness -- won't let their 16-year-old daughter stay out past 11 o'clock, one family decided to let their daughter sail solo around the world. Never mind the danger of letting a teenager attempt this ridiculous and unnecessary feat, Jessica Watson's parents wanted her to have all the glory associated with becoming the youngest person to circumnavigate the world by herself. This seems more important than school (she basically missed a year) and well worth the risk of drowning.

Girl, 16, shrugs off controversy as she ends global sail - CNN.com

WORST IDEA 5/15/10: Was it that hard to spread cream cheese?

As my grandfather, the baker, rolls over in his grave, Kraft has introduced a monstrosity called the "Bagel-ful." Designed for people too lazy to both toast a bagel and spread cream cheese on it, the Bagel-ful is a "bagel" already stuffed with cream cheese. In reality, it looks nothing like a bagel -- it's more of a roll -- and it gets cooked in the microwave, which, as everybody knows, always does well with bread products.

KRAFT | Bagel-fuls

WORST IDEA 5/14/10: NBC cancels Law & Order

NBC -- a network with no successful hour-long dramas other than the various Law & Orders -- has cancelled the flagship series despite having promised series creator Dick Wolf that it would be renewed. The surprise cancellation of the show, which for NBC still pulls reasonable ratings, robs it of the chance to pass Gunsmoke as the longest running scripted series of all time. The cancellation of the aging show might make sense if NBC had a whole bunch of strong programs that pushed the veteran into retirement. That's not the case though as NBC has literally nothing proven ready to go as last season it sacrificed the 10 p.m. hour to the failed Jay Leno Show. Of course, the cancellation may just be posturing and negotiating, but if Law & Order has actually shot its last original episode at least we know that the villain was Jeff Zucker in the boardroom with a cell phone.

NBC CANCELS ‘LAW & ORDER’ FLAGSHIP: Dick Wolf Furious That Net Reneged On Deal And May Take Show To TNT; Should NBC Reconsider? – Deadline.com

WORST IDEA 5/13/10: Robin Hood movie costs $225 million

Everyone loves Robin Hood and a lot of people love Russell Crowe, but not enough people love the idea of Crowe playing Hood to spend $225 million making the movie. This insane budget already cost studio chairman Marc Schmuger his job and it will likely cause quite a few more to get fired. Using simple math it's nearly impossible to make money on a film that costs this much (and that's before advertising). Even if it makes $300 million in worldwide box office (it won't) the studio only gets about half that money, leaving a $75 million production loss. Sure, there's money to be made on cable and through DVD sales, but to make money on a $225 million movie, you have to do close to $500 million in worldwide box office and Robin Hood won't get anywhere near that.

‘Robin Hood’ Opens To $6M In 3 Countries – Deadline.com

WORST IDEA 5/12/10: Tyra Banks "writing" fantasy series

Because Tyra Banks knows the problems facing real people, she will be writing a three book fantasy series about the problems of a girl trying to keep up with the beauty game at an elite school for supermodels. Who knew that there were elite schools for supermodels (perhaps you have to be a supermodel to know about them?) but Banks' book should be a helpful guide for the super-beautiful worried about keeping up with the mega-beautiful.

Tyra Banks writing fantasy series for young people - Yahoo! News

WORST IDEA 5/11/10: Someone agrees to marry Bobby Brown

He turned Whitney Houston from the all-American-girl who could do no wrong to a crack smoking wreck, but that apparently has not made women afraid of marrying Bobby Brown. The former boy band singer, who was once a big enough star that they used on of his songs as the theme for Ghostbusters 2 instead of the always appropriate, "Ghostbusters" got engaged to his girlfriend on stage during a recent concert. Surprising not only because Brown was actually having a concert, but that there were people attending the concert brought cheers, rather than screams of "no, don't do it," from the crowd.

Singer Bobby Brown Gets Engaged on Stage - wcbstv.com

WORST IDEA 5/10/10: Facebook "glitch" exposes private data

Remember that "private" Facebook conversation you had with a friend about how your boss is a jerk? Well, your boss might have read it. A Facebook glitch last week made supposedly private data like chats and messages available to any of your friends to read. This comes after yet another confusing front page redesign and Facebooks seemingly random policy towards what you see in your "feed." I would, however, let anyone see whatever private info they want if I could just make "Farmville" go away.

Glitch Brings New Worries About Facebook’s Privacy - NYTimes.com

WORST IDEA 5/9/10: Breakfast in bed

While it sounds like a good idea and mom pretends to like it, breakfast in bed on Mother's Day must be one of the more ridiculous holiday traditions. The concept of making mom breakfast is, of course, a positve one, but why she should have to eat it uncomfortably propped up by pillows in bed remains a mystery. A messy and greasy meal, breakfast does not belong in the bedroom. Do you want bacon grease or syrup on your pillows? Do you think mom really appreciates the sink-full of dishes just so she can not have to leave her bedroom for a few minutes? If you love mom, take her to brunch or make her a meal and serve it at the table.

WORST IDEA 5/8/10: Anti-gay activist takes vacation with male escort

As a basic rule it's probably a good idea if you're a crusading religious anti-gay activist to not be, you know, gay. George Alan Rekers a board member at the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) and cofounder of the Family Research Council, has claimed he took escort to Europe to inspire him to accept Jesus into his heart and renounce his homosexuality. The escort, however, told a newspaper that he was paid to provide body rubs once a day in the nude, during their ten-day vacation in Europe. Rekers, the news reports says, allegedly named his favorite maneuver the "long stroke" -- a complicated caress "across his penis, thigh... and his anus over the butt cheeks," as the escort puts it. "Rekers liked to be rubbed down there," he told the paper.

Exposed: Christian leader caught with male escort says he needed help with his luggage | Raw Story

WORST IDEA 5/7/10: Raiders pick Jamarcus Russell #1

After three years, $39 million, countless interceptions and incomplete passes, Jamarcus Russell has been cut by the Oakland Raiders. Perhaps the biggest bust in draft history, Russell also has the distinction of being the first number one overall pick let go after three years where major injuries were not involved. Russell joins a distinguished list of draft busts which includes Ryan Leaf, Ki-Jana Carter, Akili Smith, Tony Mandarich, Charles Rogers and Heath Shuler. Russell should be proud though as he did get paid nearly $5 million for every win he delivered all while finishing 34th in the QB rankings in 2009 (in a league with only 32 teams).

Raiders cut former overall No. 1 pick Russell - NFL- nbcsports.msnbc.com

WORST IDEA 5/6/10: Michael Bolton releases new album

The album that absolutely nobody was waiting for, Michael Bolton's One World One Love has hit stores. The new disc features Bolton desperately trying to be relevant (something he never was even when he was popular) and includes a duet with Lady Gaga. On the plus side, perhaps Bolton will start wearing masks and flame-shooting bras, which would at least improve his stage show. Perhaps the two could do a version of Bolton's "When a Man Loves a Woman" cover which, of course, would have to be retitled "When a Man Loves a Woman?"

New CDs in stores this week - JSOnline

WORST IDEA 5/5/10: Getting drunk because it's May 5

Most Americans (at least those who don't work for Corona) would probably be surprised to learn that Cinco de Mayo is not a significant holiday in Mexico. Shockingly, the day has been built up to its beer-drinking Super Bowl status in the United States by savvy marketing. Like Valentine's Day for cheep beer, Cinco de Mayo is really just an excuse to sell us booze on a worknight.
Cinco de Mayo minor holiday in Mexico - UPI.com

WORST IDEA 5/4/10: South Africa plans to hide the homeless

With its less than stellar history on treating its people well, you would think that South Africa would be careful as it plans to host the upcoming World Cup. Sadly, that is not the case as the country is getting ready for the soccer tournament by relocating scores of homeless people awaw from World Cup sites. The country isn't giving these people homes, it's simply dumping them off-camera where the world won't notice. This comes after the government had promised that no homeless would be moved for the World Cup and it, unsurprisingly, has led to all sorts of human rights protests.

South Africa street clean-up begins as homeless and poor relocated - ESPN Soccernet

WORST IDEA 5/3/10: Nic Cage buys a pyramid

Despite being so broke he has had to sell off several homes Nicolas Cage has bought himself a pyramid. The yet-to-be-built structure will be constructed in a New Orleans cemetary and will serve as the actor's final resting place. Despite making nearly $20 millions for movies like National Treasure and millions more for the endless stream of other films he has made (G-Force, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, Knowing and Bangkok Dangerous) Cage has somehow managed to still be bankrupt. The actor has a history of "worst ideas" as he not only married Lisa Marie Presely -- mostly because he was an Elvis fan -- but he named his son Kal-El after Superman's birthname.

Nicolas Cage Buys Himself a Pyramid - A-Line: the celebrity style blog - omg! on Yahoo

WORST IDEA 5/2/10: Brendan Fraser stars in a non-Mummy movie

Having sat through Journey to the Center of the Earth, I can't say that the idea of watching Brendan Fraser be tortured on-screen by animals didn't hold some appeal. Unfortuantely, his latest, Furry Vengeace was not a Saw-style torture movie. Instead, it's an environmentally themed children's movie that even kids don't want to see. This movie is so unappealling that even though no new kid's movie has been released since How to Train Your Dragon came out five weeks ago, desperate parents (I saw Space Chimps and Ponyo just to keep my son busy for two hours) are avoiding this one in droves. Made for $35 million, Vengence seems headed for a $6.5 million weekend and a quick trip to the discount video bin. Looks like we'll be seeing the next Mummy movie a little sooner than Fraser would have wanted.

FREDDY’S A (ROTTEN) DREAM: ‘Nightmare On Elm Street Opens To $34M Weekend; ‘Furry Vengeance’ $6.5M Bomb – Deadline.com#more-37115

WORST IDEA 5/1/10: Jenna Jameson wants Tito Oritz back

While porn stars are not generally known to make good choices, Jenna Jameson has taken that to new heights as she seeks to reunite with her mixed martial arts champion boyfriend Tito Ortize, days after she accused him of beating her. Ortiz responding to the beating allegations by claiming that Jameson had an Oxycontin addiction. The couple, of course, claims it was all a misunderstanding (hard to "misunderstand" a beating from Ortiz) and wants to get back together. Fortunately, California law is a little more sensible than a drug-addled porn star and a punch-drunk MMA fighter and an automatic restraining order prevents any immediate reunion.
Jenna Jameson says she wants Tito Ortiz back - CNN.com