WORST IDEA 7/31/10: Antagonizing the police

As a cast member of Jersey Shore you get a lot of latitude to be a drunken ass. That was not enough for Nicole "Snooki"Polizzi who got arrested after getting so drunk she was fighting with police. It's pretty hard to get arrested when you're famous for being a drunken jackass and you have a camera crew with you, but that's our Snooki -- always doing the impossible.

Arts, Briefly - ‘Jersey Shore’ Scores; Snooki Is Arrested - NYTimes.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA 7/30/10: Chelsea Clinton's $3 million wedding

Do they plan on having diamond-encrusted passed hors d'oeuvres? I don't care how rich the Clintons are, it's absurd to spend $3 million on a wedding. I'm not saying Chelseas should buy at dress at David's Bridal and rent out a VFW hall, but $3 million buys an awful lot. Who's the wedding band, the surviving Beatles and a Led Zeppelin reunion? At least, the actual marriage seems like a good ideas since Chelsea's not marrying anyone famous, an ex-reality show contestant or someone she met on a VH1 show.

Chelsea Clinton's $3m not quite royal wedding | Life and style | The Guardian

WORST IDEA 7/29/10: Wyclef Jean weighs presidential run

Because being a talentless rap singer once lucky enough to be in a famous group, may not qualify someone to be pressident of Haiti. This has not stopped Wyclef Jean from pondering a run for office in the troubled country. Though he may be one of the most famous Haitians, Jean has never run anything bigger than a a band and that band did not even play instruments.

Haitian singer Wyclef Jean weighs presidential bid | Reuters

WORST IDEA 7/28/10: Prince says "the Internet is completely over"

Prince, who has not been musically relevant since the mid-90s, has decalred the Internet over. Apparently, the entire rest of the civilized world is behind the times and we should be taking direction from a midget in ass-less pants. Perhaps this is Prince's revenge for when the Internet refused to friend him on Facebook.

Prince says 'the Internet is completely over' | EW.com

WORST IDEA 7/27/10: Hollywood making Battleship movie

"Uh oh, you sunk my battleship" will soon be heard on the big screen as filmmakers rush a movie based on the popular game. What's next, "Trouble: The Motion Picture?" A series based on "Rock, Paper, Scissors?" I think we're officially out of source material if a board game with no story line seems like a valid basis for a movie. Personally, I'm waiting to read the book.

Rihanna to make movie debut in 'Battleship' opposite Alexander Skarsgard, Taylor Kitsch

WORST IDEA 7/26/10: President Obama to appear on "The View"

President Barack Obama must enjoy having people speak over him while laughing for no reason as that's the only possible reason he could have for agreeing to appear on The View. Fortunately, since Obama will be appearing to discuss his accomplishments as president, it should at least be a short visit.

President Obama to appear on 'The View' - USATODAY.com

WORST IDEA 7/25/10: Amanda Bynes unretires

We made fun of her when she quit show business a month ago, now we get to mock her when she announces her triumphant comeback. Amanada Bynes, 24, has proven that you should not listen to anything Amanda Bynes says. No surprising, because she's famous for being sort of cute in movies and TV shows written by other people, but, still, a one month retirement seems ridiculous even by Hollywood standards.

Amanda Bynes Reverses Decision to Quit the Biz - Amanda Bynes : People.com

WORST IDEA 7/24/10: trying to be mini-Lebron

Chris Paul, a pretty good basketball player who hasn't won anything, has tried to do what Lebron James did and control his own destiny. Unfortunately, Paul isn't a free agent, so in demanding to be traded to a fee hand-picked teams, he mostly comes off as a spoiled brat. And, when he doesn't get traded, he should have a great time playing in front of his "fans" in New Orleans -- where he has made it clear he does not want to be.

Paul bends to King James’ rule - NBA - Yahoo! Sports

WORST IDEA 7/23/10: Sitting

A new study shows that the more time people spend sitting down, the greater their risk of death. Work in an office? Gonna die. Pilot a plane? You're dead too. The message to be taken form this? Pretty much, that unless you throw away your chair, you're going to die and probably soon. (Typed while standing up).

Sitting too long ‘ups death risk’ - Health - Health & Fitness - Life & Style - The Times of India

WORST IDEA 7/22/10: Dating Michael Lohan

Kate Major, who dated John Gosselin and is now engaged to Michael Lohan (Screech was busy) has filed domestic abuse claims against Lohan. Not to say, "I told you so," but Major must have at least considered that dating a man famous because he's a lousy parent may not have been a great move. On the positive side, she is now free to date Spencer Pratt.

Kate Major Files Domestic Abuse Claims Against Michael Lohan - iVillage

WORST IDEA 7/21/10: Being Spencer Pratt

The poster boy for jackasses (sorry actual jackasses, you don't deserve the comparison) has said he chose his love for fame over his love for his estranged wife Heidi Montag. Of course, Pratt is only famous for his connection to Montag and her odd plastic surgery. On his own, Pratt remains just another obnoxious jerk with bad facial hair. Hard to imagine there would be someone who could actually make you think, "hey, maybe John Gosselin's not that bad a guy," but Pratt at least makes you consider it.

Spencer Pratt: I Chose Fame over Heidi - Breakups, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt : People.com

WORST IDEA 7/20/10: Teenagers getting Botox

Though her managers deny it, there are reports all over the Internet that a young actress got Botox injections to "make her look fresher," for an apperance on Glee. If you're getting Botox at 18, you should pretty much look like Joan Rivers at 25. Bring on the facelifts, teenagers, you are starting to lose that new baby look.

Charice’s Botox-filled Glee debut - BostonHerald.com

WORST IDEA 7/19/10: Jersey Shore cast goes on strike

Members of the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore have apparently refused to show up for filming of the the third season of their unlikely TV hit. The cast members apparently want more than the $10,000 per episode they make for drinking, having sex with strangers and generally doing what they do normally. The cast members contend that they can make more money making club appearances than they get from the show. Of course, without the show, why would anyone want them for a club appearance? The world is clogged with former reality stars looking to make appearances and, well, just call "Puck" from The Real World and ask how that goes once they stop putting you on MTV.

'Jersey Shore' cast goes on strike - NYPOST.com

WORST IDEA 7/18/10: Waiting in line with 16,000 people

16,000 people show up in Nashville for opening round auditions to become America's next mildly famous cruise ship singer (technically American Idol). What percentage of those people actually had talent and how many are goofs hoping to show up in the "boy aren't they lousy opening segments? Can't we have a pre-audition to the audition where potential contestants at least need a note from their high school glee club teacher?

'American Idol' auditions draw 16,000+ singers | tennessean.com | The Tennessean

WORST IDEA 7/17/10: Baskin-Robbins retires french vanilla

While I can understand getting rid of supertruffle fudge and the Bill Clinton-inspired, "Saxy Candidate," I can't imagine why Baskin-Robbins would retire French Vanilla. Have we really come to an ice cream era where Spongebob has a flavor on the menu, but there's no place for vanilla? Maybe next they can get rid of chocolate and replace it with Mel Gibson's Racist Rant (chocolate ice cream with Matzoh balls).

The Buzz Log - Baskin-Robbins Retires French Vanilla - Yahoo! Buzz

WORST IDEA 7/16/10: Letting Mel Giibson have custody

After hearing Mel Gibson's racist rants at the mother of his child in which he applies hitting her in front of his baby, I have a hard time believing any judge would grant the man custody. Gibson hardly seems fit to take care of a goldfish let alone a child. Still, that's not likely to come into play as Gibson is really rich and people with a lot of money usually get what they want no matter how crazy they appear to be.

BBC News - Gibson police receive recordings during custody hearing

WORST IDEA 7/15/10: Bristol Palin gets engaged to Levi Johnston

An impulsive marriage between a 19-year-old and a 20-year-old who already have a kid should work out great. I'm sure if you look through the last 20 years of American history you can find at least three examples of this type of marriage working out for the long term and Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston seem like the type of kids who can buck all conventional wisdom. Of course, not only are Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston getting married, they plan to wed in under six weeks. The couple, who clearly have never watched an episode of MTV's Teen Moms series announced their engagement -- to their families and the public alike -- in an US Magazine cover story. That should please Sarah Palin who attempted to force the couple to get married when it would have benefited her run for the vice presidency, then later went on to feud with Johnston. To increase their odds for success, perhaps the now on-again couple can do a reality show where Spencer Pratt and Mel Gibson give them relationship advice.

Bristol Palin engaged to Levi Johnston | KSEE 24 News - Central Valley's News Station: Fresno-Visalia - News, Sports, Weather | Entertainment

WORST IDEAS 7/14/10: Injecting a drug addict's blood

Forget the incredible dangers of sharing a needle with another drug addict and meet the impossible to imagine horrors of injecting another addicts blood directly into your veins. It seems that desperate heroin addicts in Africa have undertaken the process, called "flashblood" to stave off withdrawal pains. Though not common, the procedure, as you might imagine, carries an incredible risk of passing on diseases like HIV. Of course, if you're reduced to injecting a drug addict's blood into your veins, a slow-killing disease like AIDS is probably the least of your problems.

Desperate Addicts Inject Others’ Blood - NYTimes.com

WORST IDEA 7/13/10: Dating Mel Gibson

He's an anti-Semitic racist who will likely hit you, but on the plus side, he's a controlling maniac fond of profane rants and vicious threats. Not exactly the lovable guy from Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson was once so popular that his career recovered from him getting caught publicly showing how much he hates Jews. The man works in the entertainment industry and he got a one-time pass on anti-Semitism. Now, since we know he hates Jews, black people and women, I'm thinking there might be no coming back from this one. Still, I bet he has no trouble finding a new girlfriend. If women want to date O.J., then I'm sure Gibson will have a new lady on his arm soon enough.

Mel Gibson Sought Therapy over Relationship, Says Friend - Scandals & Feuds, Mel Gibson : People.com

WORST IDEA 7/12/10: Trusting Switzerland to do the right thing

It's apparently okay to drug and rape a child if you're a famous director -- at least in Switzerland. The Swiss have refused to extradite filmmaker (and convicted rapist) Roman Polanski to the United States for reasons that remain unclear. Now, Polanski gets to leave house arrest at his Swiss chalet, head back to France and go back to making movies that critics praise, but nobody watches.

Film director Roman Polanski will not be extradited to U.S.: Switzerland

WORST IDEA 7/11/10: The World Cup third place game

In a tournament, getting knocked out should mean you play no more games. The losers in the AFC and NFC championship games don't meet the week before the Super Bowl to see who comes in third and it's silly that the losers in the World Cup semifinals do. Good news Germany, you lost in the World Cup, but you won the third place match. You still lost, but you lost a little less? Is this a global competition or summer camp? Third place only matters in horse racing if you bet the trifecta. I'm pretty sure there's no trifecta bet in the World Cup, but the way the thing seems to be run I wonder if all the countries get trophies just for playing?

World Cup Match Results: Uruguay vs Germany - FIFA World Cup 2010 - ESPN Soccernet

WORST IDEA 7/10/10: Posting "I'm sad" on Facebook

We get it, you want us to ask what's wrong. That said, if something was really wrong, you'd ask your real friends for help not post to hundreds of vague acquantances on Facebook. I like attention too, but needing the person who sat behind me in high school homeroom -- who I haven't spoken to in 20 years -- ask me "what's wrong?" is just sad.

WORST IDEA 7/9/10: Lebron James betrays Cleveland

No player has gone from beloved to universally hated faster than self-annointed "King" Lebron James. Despite never winning everything and pretty much quitting everything, James felt it was okay to not only turn his back on his hometown -- pretty much destroying the city -- he did it in the least classy way possible. James wants to win titles and go down in history so he left Cleveland for Miami where he now gets to play with two other superstars. He still won't win, but he will go down in history for being a man who had the chance to be an all-time great leading his city back to the promised land. He could have been Mark Messier in New York -- a hero for the ages if he won even one championship. Instead, he's the worst type of mercenary, selling out his people for an easier path to the title.

2010 NBA free agency: LeBron James announces he'll sign with Miami Heat - ESPN

BONUS WORST IDEA 7/8/10: Waiting for Lady Gaga

Just watched the Today show where they interviewed a bunch of teenagers waiting for the free Lady Gaga concert. The group had been there overnight -- silly, but not totally ridiculous -- except for the fact that they were the only people in line becaus the concert is Friday. These kids, who seemed a little deranged in their love for Lady Gaga -- plan to sleep on the street for over 48 hours to get good seats at a concert that nobody else appears to be lining up early for.

WORST IDEA 7/8/10: The Microsoft Kin

After six weeks, tons of ads and who knows how many hundreds of millions in costs, Microsoft has killed its Kin, social networking phone. Microsoft's a big place, so you'd think someone would have realized that an expensive to buy, expensive to own phone aimed at teenagers would be a bad idea, but nobody seemed to notice. So long Kin ,say hello to Bob and Vista for me in the Microsoft hall of shame.

RIP Microsoft Kin, you won't be missed

WORST IDEA 7/710: Pissing off a judge

Lindsay Lohan learned the hard way that judges tend to not like it when you ignore their rulings. The former actress who has stayed famous mostly by forgetting to wear underwear when she gets out of cars was sentenced to 90 days in jail by an angry Los Angeles judge. The judge gave out a much stiffer sentence than prosecutors had asked for because Lohan had repeatedly lied in court. One lie involved a white substance found on her pants in a photograph, which, of course was cocaine. Lohan denied owning the pants despite numerous pictures of her wearing them and testimony that they were her "favorite" pants. Now, the one-time child star will get to do first-hand research for her future making women in prison movies for Cinemax.

Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 in rehab - latimes.com

WORST IDEA 7/6/10: Letting George Michael drive

Former celebrity George Michael drove his car into a store over the weekend in London leading to his arrest. Fortunately, Michael crashed into a store called "Snappy Snaps" which develops film, so nobody was hurt because nobody has taken a picture on film since back when Michael was a music star. On the positive side, this is the rare arrest with his pants on for the former Wham singer.

FOXNews.com - George Michael Arrested for Driving Car Through a Storefront

WORST IDEA 7/510: Giving birth at home

A new study shows that home births are significantly more dangerous than deliveries which take place in a hospital. Did we really need a study for this one? We needed to surveys and science to determine that it's safer to have a baby surrounded by high-tech medical equipment than it is at home? Hospitals have doctors, machinery and every possible medicine. Houses have towels, boiling water and maybe some Advil. Perhaps the next study will determine that it's safer to have a doctor coduct your brain surgery than one of your friends.

Study: Home births more dangerous | The Kennebec Journal, Augusta, ME

WORST IDEA 7/4/10: Burgers with the toppings inside

While stuffing cheese and bacon-like substances inside a hamburger does save time, it does not in any way equal actually putting them on top. The cheese invariably melts out onto your grill leaving you a cheeseless burger with weird bacon chunks inside. It's like the difference between a pizza and a microwave pizza. They both look like the same thing, but the experience is decidely different. So, in honor of Fourth of July, I'll be honoring our Founding Fathers by piling bacon and cheese on top of my burger while leaving the pre-stuffed ones for Communists who hate America.

WORST IDEA 7/3/10: Rebooting Spiderman

It makes sense to reboot a movie franchise every 30 or 40 years, but doing it every few makes no sense. We're only a few years removed from the Tobey Maguire Spiderman and now plans are underway for another reboot. Instead of doing Spiderman 4 with new actors, we're getting Spidey back in high school. Add this to the U2 Spiderman and our Freindly Neighborhood Spiderman might just consider becoming a supervillain.

Arts, Briefly - New ‘Spider-Man’ Finds Its New Spider-Man - NYTimes.com

WORST IDEA 7/2/10: Mel Gibson goes on a racist rant

In general, America will forgive anyone for anything once. Mel Gibson got his one chance when he unleashed an anti-semitic rant a few years ago and, despite our better judgement, the nation begrudgingly forgave him. Unfortunately, Gibson is so racist that even though he knows a second transgression will likely end his already faltering career, he could not stop himself from unleashing a racist tirade against his former girlfriend. Gibson's viscious attack, which was caught on tape included racial slurs, really horrible insults and the sound of his baby crying in the background.

FOXNews.com - Mel Gibson Alleged Threat to Ex-Girlfriend Could Be Classifed as Terrorism, Says Expert

WORST IDEA 7/1/10: DC ruins Wonder Woman

A pretty lame superhero, Wonder Woman's main draw has always been the fact that she fought crime in an implausibly skimpy outfit. That has ended, however, as DC Comics has redesigned the character taking her out of her trademark bathing suit and putting her into non-descript pants. This should appeal to the young boys who read comics that wanted a less sexy, more practical Wonder Woman, so, essentially nobody.

Wonder Woman gets 21st century makeover - Yahoo! News