WORST IDEA 6/30/10: Joy Behar taking over for Larry King

Joy Behar may be the only television personaity more annoying and less hip than Larry King. Her show on HLN may draw an audience, but couldn't CNN find someone a little more culturally relevant? Behar plays to my mom's friends and that's fine, but doesn't CNN want to get younger viewers, not merely hold on to the ones that still think suspenders and giant glasses are a hip look? If we're just looking at people the sub for King, why not go with Kermit the Frog?

Hollywood Entertainment Breaking News - Nikki Finke on Deadline.com/hollywood

WORST IDEA 6/29/10: Marrying Brian Austin Green

Wit Ian Zieiring apparently unavailable former Transformers star Megan Fox has married former Beverly Hills 90210 star Brian Austin Green. This counts as the latest in a series of embarrassing missteps for Fox inlcuding her roles in the film's Jennifer's Body (a minor bomb) and the current Jonah Hex (a bomb of historic proportions. The marriage represents a bit of a triumph for Green, however, who most recently appeared as "hey aren't you that guy from 90210?" in line at Jamba Juice.

'Transformers' star Megan Fox marries Brian Austin Green in Hawaii: reports

WORST IDEA 6/26/10: Joining the Ku Klux Klan

Not to disparage the dead, but I hardly think that newly-deceased Senator Robert Byrd can pass off being a member of the Ku Klux Klan as a mere regret. Wearing white pants in the winter is a regret, joining the Klan is pretty much a blight on your character that it's impossible to come back from. I'm glad to see Senator Byrd was apologetic about his racist past, but I'm not sure a life of saying "whoopsie" makes up for this particular mistake.

Robert Byrd, longest-serving member of Congress, dead at 92 - CNN.com

WORST IDEAS 6/27/10: World honors Michael Jackson

Forget the child molesting and remember the music, people might as well cry as they pay tribute to Michael Jackson a year after his death. That's sort of like honoring Hitler for his attention to detail and not mentioning his attempts at genocide.

Global Tribute Marks Year Since Michael Jackson's Death - ABC News

WORST IDEA 6/26/10: The anti-rape condom

Dr. Sonnet Ehlers sold her house and car to finance the creation of the anti-rape condom, a device women would wear with rows of jagged hooks designed to attach to a man's penis during penetration. Once attached, the condom can only be removed by a doctor who theoretically calls the police. The major drawback of the device is, course, that women would have to either
have a pretty good idea when they might be raped or simply wear one at all times. I know it's dangerous out there for the ladies, but I'm pretty sure if you're constantly at risk of being raped, it might be time to move or start hanging out in different neighborhoods.

Anti-Rape Condoms (PICTURE): Will Jagged Teeth Deter World Cup Sex Assaults? Rape-aXe Hopes So - - CBS News

WORST IDEA 6/25/10: Camping out to see Twilight

Since you can, you know, order advance tickets online, it seems a little silly to be camping out to see the new Twilight movie. I know I'm not a teenage girl, but this hardly seems like a movie you couldn't wait a day or two before seeing if seeing it on opening night means living in a tent for a week outside a theather. And, since the movie is based on a book, it's not like anyone seeing it won't know what happened.

Tent City Twi-Hards: Up Close & Personal – Deadline.com

WORST IDEA 6/24/10: Not safety testing your cribs

Five companies have had to recall over 2.2 million cribs after reports emerged about dozens of infants who had either fallen out of them our become trapped in them. Most of the recalls involve drop-side model cribs which Consumer Products Safety Chairman Inez Tenenbaum called a “deadly hazard” after the agency documented 32 deaths since 2000 and recalled millions of the beds. So, it might be best to just let your newborn sleep on the floor or in a pile of straw out in the backyard as apparently that $1000 crib grandma bought you is like letting your kid sleep on a bed of razor blades.


Evenflo, Delta Lead U.S. Recall of 2.2 Million Cribs - BusinessWeek

WORST IDEA 6/23/10: Khloe Kardashian buys $443,000 car

Reality TV apparently pays better than I thought as Khloe Kardashian has bought her husband, L.A. Laker Lamar Odom, a $443,000 Rolls Royce. Nothing says "I will eventually be on a reality show about how I blew my money" than a $443,000 Rolls Royce. Kardashian, whose 15 minutes must be expiring soon has apparently not learned from, well, every other inexplicably famous person that when you have fame but no talent, the well will eventually run dry. Fortunately, Odom makes lots of money and basketball players are, of course, well-known to be extra careful with their money.

Khloe Kardashian's Extravagant Victory Gift to Lamar Odom - A-Line: the celebrity style blog - omg! on Yahoo

WORST IDEA 6/22/10: Amanda Bynes retires at 24 via Twitter

Not exactly a household name, but a steadily working actress, Amanda Bynes has decided to walk away from the easy money because she "just doesn't like acting." Since Bynes' appeal is basically that she's cute and a future as a nunanced character actor does not seem to be in the cards for her, she realistically could have just waited a couple of years and the industry would have put her out to pasture. Instead, we get her Tweeted retirement soon to be followed by an announcement of some new project (maybe a Lifetime movie) that was so compelling she had to come back.

Amanda Bynes Retires At Age 24 Via Twitter « Work in Progress - Forbes.com

WORST IDEA 6/21/10: Letting kids make eating decisions

A new study shows that kids think that foods with a picture of a cartoon character taste better. This apparently leads to poor eating choices and fat, unhealthy kids. Of course, since kids don't generally do the grocery shopping, we should probably blame parents and not Dora The Explorer. Admittedly, I do have a WWSBD? (What would SpongeBob do?) tattoo across my back, but, I'd assume most people are smart enough to not follow the advice of Shrek just because their kids whine a little.

Cartoon characters attract kids to junk food - CNN.com

WORST IDEA 6/20/10: Disfigure Josh Brolin

Here's a recipe for success. Take an obscure comic book character that even geeks don't remember fondly and put him in a poorly-done movie. Then, have him be played be a notoriously good-looking man, BUT, have the character be disfigured. The only thing that would make this worse would be to co-star and emaciated Megan Fox. Oh wait, they did that too.

FAMILY FARE FIRST: ‘Toy Story 3′ Plays Huge $111M Weekend; ‘Karate Kid’ Holds $28.5M; #6 ‘Jonah Hex’ Bombs For $5.2M – Deadline.com

WORST IDEA 6/19/10: FDA rejects female Viagra

With quite a few men being scientists, one has to wonder why we can't get this problem solved. I would think female Viagra would be one of those science problems that our best and brightest would be working on. Instead, we've got companies handing in ineffective pills to the FDA that work, maybe 10% of the time. Even the least effective guy should be able to get a reaction 10% of the time, so maybe back to the science drawing board?

FDA Panel Wants More Data On 'Female Viagra' Drug - WSJ.com

WORST IDEA 6/18/10: Spending a morning watching soccer

Forgetting how dreadfully boring soccer actually is, I rearranged my whole morning to be home to have the Unites States/Slovenia match on. The game just started and, well, nothing continues to happen. The announcer, some Brittish fellow, seems very excited and there's a Slovenian player rolling around on the ground after getting elbowed, but mostly, a lot of nothing. Soccer will only catch on in the U.S. if we incorporate drinking or maybe give the goalies some sort of blunt weapon.

WORST IDEA 6/17/10: AOL buys, now sells, BEBO

As a basic rule, it's a bad idea to pay huge money for any social media Web site not named "Facebook" or "Twitter." This did not stop AOL from buying BEBO, a social networking Web site nobody had ever heard of when they bought it a few years ago for $850 million. As you might imagine, that deal turned out disastrously as BEBO did not turn around AOL's rapidly sinking fortunes and now even less people know what BEBO is. That led AOL to sell he site yesterday in a transaction in which AOL executives described BEBO's common stock as "worthless." But for $850 million and sell for worthless. Hoping they get some mail from shareholders about this one. Perhaps now they can buy Friendster.

AOL Confirms Sale Of Bebo To Turnaround Firm Criterion - WSJ.com

WORST IDEA 6/16/10: Obama calls for prayer to fix oil spill

One would think that with delusional religious nut George W. Bush out of office that we would now have a leader who proposes real solutions, not magical ones. Sadly, that is not the case as during Barack Obama's address to the nation last night, he called for prayer as part of the solution for the oil spill mess in the Gulf. Why not ask for Superman to save us or blamed the spill on Darth Vader if we're going to invoke fiction instead of dealing with reality. The President of the United States should not act based on faith. He should act based on commanding the resources of the most powerful nation on Earth and keep his belief in a magical man in the sky out of his speeches.

WORST IDEA 5/15/10: Being an American in Pakistan

a 52-year-old American citizen found himself in custody in Pakistan where has claimed to be searching for Osama bin Laden. While I'm all in favor of catching bin Laden, I think it' more likely that the A-Team will find him before a delusional man armed to the teeth and carrying Christian religious paraphenalia. Realistically, if we want to solve two problems at once, we shoudl send Dog the Bounty Hunter after bin Laden. That way, if we don't catch him, at least Dog is out of the country for a while.

American arrested while searching for Osama bin Laden - CNN.com

WORST IDEA 6/14/10: Representing Joran van der Sloot

While everyone deserves to have a lawyer defend him, you have to wonder about the lawyer taking on the case of Joran van der Sloot. This guy has attempted to have van der Sloot's confession thrown out because he was not properly represented when he gave it. In the confession, the likely two-time killer admitted to "elbowing murder victim Stephany Flores Ramirez in the face before strangling her and then suffocating her with his own shirt." Seems reasonable we would want to get this prince of a man off on a technicality.


Police release transcripts in Joran van der Sloot murder case - CNN.com

WORST IDEA 6/13/10: Not listening to an album before putting it in your kids' meal

Wendy's has had to pull a "disco fever" CD from its kids' meals because on the songs contained the lyric "so horny," which, as you might imagine, is not an appropriate lyric for kids young enough to eat a meal packaged in a box with games on the side. Wendy's seems to be missing in all areas as one has to wonder who considers "disco fever" a viable drawe for kids in 2010.

WORST IDEA 6/12/10: Speculating as to whether the World Cup will make soccer popular

The World Cup will make soccer slightly more popular in the U.S. until the United States gets knocked out. At the point, the sport will go back to being something played by little kids and high school boys not good enough to make the football team. Big ratings for the World Cup won't increase the general interest in the sport any more than the Summer Olympics produce an increase in interest in hurdling.

WORST IDEA 6/11/10: Marrying Larry King

Of course Larry King's wife tried to commit suicide, she's married to Larry King. Speculating about whether Shawn King's overdose was accidental or intentional is just foolish because, once again, she's married to Larry King. Money can only do so much for you if you have to come home every night to an incompetent, incoherent and probably incontinent old man, who, by the way, looks like Larry King.

People: Larry King s wife attempted suicide, reports say - San Jose Mercury News

WORST IDEA 6/10/10: Michael Jordan grows a Hitler mustache

Maybe he's bored or perhaps he just wants to show us that he's so beloved he can do whatever he wants, but whatever the reason, Michael Jordan has grown a Hitler mustache. A style not popular since...well, ever, but made way less popular by Adolph Hitler, the basketball great was seen wearing the distinctive 'stache in a Hanes commercial. Perhaps for a next move, Jordan will dress up as Osama bin Laden for Halloween or maybe he'll start dressing like the Unabomber.

Charles Barkley says what we're all thinking about MJ's mustache - Ball Don't Lie - NBA  - Yahoo! Sports

WORST IDEA 6/9/10: Lindsay Lohan just can't put down the booze

Former actress Lindsay Lohan has violated her probation by drinking despite wearing an alcohol detecting ankle bracelet. Lohan, now famous mostly for when she forgets to wear underwear, was once a promising actress with her pick of A-list projects. She has been wearing the SCRAM bracelet which measures her sweat every half hour for the presence of booze since a judge ordered it after she violated her probation. Clearly, the tabloid fixture and sometimes lesbian has a bit of a problem if she's drinking knowing the she's going to get caught.

BBC News - Lindsay Lohan violates US court alcohol ban

WORST IDEA 6/8/10: Being alone with Joran Van der Sloot

Not to malign the dead, but you have to wonder exacly why any woman would go into a hotel room alone with Joran Van der Sloot. Generally, I would advise women to be cautious around any man who was accussed of killing a woman even if he wasn't quite arrested. Sort of like my "don't visit O.J.'s house late at night rule, I'm pretty steadfast about my "don't be alone with Van der Sloot" policy. I'd also consider avoiding marrying any man whose spouses keep mysteriously dying though that Scott Peterson sure is dreamy.

Official: Van der Sloot confesses to Peru slaying - TODAY

WORST IDEA 5/7/10: USF scientists confirm underwater gulf oil; source still unclear - St. Petersburg Times

Despite the giant oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, University of South Florida scientists are unclear where the oil they have discovered underwater came from. Perhaps a super villain dropped it off or maybe the cast of Jersey Shore took a bath in the Gulf, but I'm guessing the mysterious oil came from the broken BP oil pipe dumping around 800,000 gallons day in the Gulf. Even Scooby Doo could wrap this one up in less than half an hour, so one has to wonder about the science department over at USF.
USF scientists confirm underwater gulf oil; source still unclear - St. Petersburg Times

WORST IDEA 6/6/10: Lady Gaga sings Taylor Swift

Weirdly outfitted monster/pop singer Lady Gaga has confessed to loving the music of another crappy pop singer, Taylor Swift. As if her singing her own horrible music was not enough, Ms. Gaga admits that she sings along loudly with Swift's "You Belong With Me" whenever it plays on the radio. If we could somehow add Justin Beiber into this mix, the world would disappear into a black hole fed by energy from the poor choices made by teenyboppers.

Taylor Swift Is Lady Gaga's Guilty Pleasure - Our Country

WORST IDEA: 6/5/10: Snap, Crackle, Pop and lies

Kelloggs has been hit by the Federal Trade Commission for the second time this year for lying about the health benefits of its cereals. This time, the company has gotten in trouble for saying that Rice Krispies boost kids' immunity. Since they don't, they were told that they pretty much should not put that on the box. Fortunately, this crime pales next to what Kelloggs' competitor General Mills tried to pull this year with its commercial touting the health benefits of Lucky Charms.

FTC Objects to Kellogg's Rice Krispies Health Claim - WSJ.com

BONUS WORST IDEA 6/4/10: McDonalds gives kis poison glasses

McDonalds has had to recall 12 million Shrek promotional glasses because they contain cadmium, which could be poisonous to children. Realistically, who would expect children to go to McDonalds to get a Shrek glass in a Happy Meal. Hard to see this one coming, so I give them a pass.

McDonald’s Recalls ‘Shrek’ Drinking Glasses in U.S. (Update2) - BusinessWeek

WORST IDEA 6/4/10: Fran Drescher turns husband gay

While having to hear her voice everyday might have any straight man considering his options, Fran Drescher's former husband of 21 years actually joined the other team. Peter Marc Jacobson, who co-created The Nanny with Drescher actually came out of the closet and has told the world that after 20 plus years married to The Nanny, he would prefer the company of men. Perhaps Drescher can turn this into a sitcom where she marries Lou Diamond Phillips after they both learn their spouses are gay.

Fran Drescher: My Ex-Husband Is Gay | News | Advocate.com

WORST IDEA 6/3/10: More teen girls say they use rhythm method

While teen girls have never been known for their excellent choices (Robert Pattinson, really?) an increasing number of them consider the rhythm method of birth control a good choice. Not worried about disease, these girls are also not all that worried about pregnancy as a shokcing 98% of teen girls who report having had sex, admit to using the rhythm method at least once. Basically, teen attitudes now say it's okay to have a baby while not married and still a teenager, so why use a condom?

More teen girls says they use rhythm method of birth control

WORST IDEA 6/2/10: Church excommunicates nun

Why not just hang up the going out of business signs on the Catholic Church right now and save everyone from having to watch its slow death? In the latest sign that Catholic leaders still think they're living back when everybody had no choice but believing their mumbo jumobo, the Church has excommunicated a nun who authorized an emergency abortion. It's not like this nun was going around saying abortions are okay, she authorized the abortion because the mother would have died had it not happened. Even if you consider this a complicated, you have to admit that it hardly requires excommunication. I mean priests were raping young boys and they barely got a talking to.

Church Excommunicates Nun Who Authorized Emergency Abortion to Save Mother's Life - ABC News

WORST IDEA 6/1/10: Celine Dion to spawn again

If a young male star married his creepy old-lady manager who had been his manager since he was a kid, people would be creeped out. For some reason nobody seems upset that Celine Dion is married to a man who could be her grandfather who has controlled her life and career since she was a young teenager. Now, Dion and pops, who already have one child, are expecting twins. While plenty of kids are born into worse situations, having an elderly father whose svengali-like control over your mom's life can't be a good thing. Fortunately, dad likely won't be around all that much longer, so the kids will just have to deal with mom oversinging lullaby's to them.

Céline Dion Is Pregnant – with Twins! - Babies, Celine Dion : People.com