Podcast Up Now 12-13

Dan and Jason try really hard to not talk about Jerry Sandusky.

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Jason and I completely lose our train of thought and go way off topic, but I'm pretty sure we were funny.

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And now the audio is linked in the little box to the right on our site. Thanks to Matt Hallion (my oldest friend) for noticing it.

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We've moved to a new location and lost power during the show, so listen to our second take of this week's Worst of the Week.

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If I was a crazed gunman, Virginia Tech would not be the first place I would go.

McDonalds gives less, charges the same

McDonalds has changed its "Happy Meals" so that the default side dish choice has become apples. Of course, since no kid wants apples instead of fries, nearly all parents will still let their kids get the fries. But, under the guise of being healthy McDonalds has made the fries almost 2/3 smaller, but they still charge the same price.

WORST IDEA: Kat Von D gets Jesse James' face tattooed

You don't have to be all that bright to realize that a lifelong commitment to Jess James may not be a good idea. Sadly, Kat Von D is not all that bright.

Kat Von D Gets Jesse James' Face Tattooed - The Famous - omg! on Yahoo: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

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It's our most self-indulgent podcast ever (still funny though).

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WORST IDEA: 18,000 show up for Chris Brown?

The Today Show had Chris Brown perform and 18,000 people showed up. If I beat up a woman, will more people buy my book? Adele, are you free for dinner?

WORST IDEA: Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Not much else to say here.

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy - US news - Weird news - msnbc.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Casey Anthony not guilty of murder

Apparently it's okay to kill your child as long as you destroy the evidence. A lot of kids better be on their best behavior tonight.

Casey Anthony Not Guilty of Murder in Caylee's Death - ABC News: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Denise Richards Adopts A Baby

Do adoption agencies watch E!? Do they get the newspaper? This is a woman who married Charlie Sheen. I guess we can't stop her from having kids, but we should be able to stop her from adopting.

Denise Richards Adopts A Baby: 'The Girls & I Are Over The Moon' - omg! news on Yahoo!: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: NBC brings Tour de France coverage to mobile platforms

I do like to have as many ways as possible to not follow something.

NBC Sports Follows Tour de France With New Mobile, Web Subscriptions - Ina Fried - Mobile - AllThingsD: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Pottermore

J.K. Rowling has announced that she will sell the Harry Potter books electronically on her own Web site, "Pottermore." This cuts out the book retailers who made her a billionaire. Thanks, J.K., we'll turn the lights out on the bookselling industry as you role around in a pile of gold and diamonds.

WORST IDEA: Jennifer Lopez might not return to American Idol

Jennifer Lopez, after years of failed movies and albums, finally has a hit with American Idol and, of course, she may leave the show. This makes total sense if your goal is to destroy your career. Lopez can't act and can't sing, yet she's getting offered movies and has hit songs, all because of her Idol exposure. Leaving would immediately be one of the biggest blunders of all time.

Jennifer Lopez might not return to American Idol: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux

Every Jennifer Aniston dating story ends the same way. She might be attractive, but her personality makes it so that no matter how good looking and rich she might be, no man will stick around.

New couple Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux take Manhattan - NYPOST.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: NBA draft outfits

If I ever get drafted it won't be in a yellow suit with 18 buttons.

The Worst NBA Draft Outfits Ever | ThePostGame: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Springsteen remembers Clemons

No jokes about this one. Goodbye "Big Man." Thank you for so many highlights and so many special moments.

Springsteen remembers Clemons - USATODAY.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris wedding called off

Perhaps Hef wanted someone younger? Maybe she was looking for older and more likely to die during the honeymoon? If two well-matched lovebirds like this can't make it, I hold out little hope for the rest of us.

Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris Wedding Called Off : People.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Alec Baldwin considering run for NYC Mayor

That seems like a perfect job for a pampered Hollywood actor who has trouble controlling his temper.

Alec Baldwin Considering Run for NYC Mayor - The Hollywood Reporter: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Jason Terry got a tattoo of the championship trophy before the season

Just because something might work out doesn't make it a bad idea. Jason Terry, of the Mavericks, will spend the rest of his life explaining his ink if the team loses to the Heat, which it probably will. Of course, if this works I'm getting a tattoo of the Stanley Cup and taking my skates out of storage.

Jason Terry got a tattoo of the championship trophy before the season - Ball Don't Lie - NBA Blog - Yahoo! Sports: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Doomsday prophet, followers ‘flabbergasted’ world didn’t end

He's keeping the money though. Though in this case it's hard to feel bad for the victims.

Doomsday prophet, followers ‘flabbergasted’ world didn’t end - Yahoo! News: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Master P has a daughter named Cymphonique

I guess when dad is Master P, anything goes...

Nickelodeon Picks Up ‘How To Rock’ Series Starring Cymphonique With 20-Ep. Order – Deadline.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Worst Idea: Setting a date for the apocalypse

Generally, religions maintain their nonsense by not giving specifics. The second you set a date for the end of the world and it doesn't happen, the people begin to question everything else you might have to say.

The new podcast just went up

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WORST IDEAS: Students vote for Michael Vick to give graduation speech

It's official, if you're good enough at playing quarterback, you can kill dogs and people will forgive you. Using this logic, Tom Brady could probably murder an orphan.

Students vote for Philadelphia Eagles' Michael Vick to give graduation speech - ESPN: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Ashton Kutcher joining "Two and a Half Men"

I didn't think there was a way to make this show even less appealing to me, but CBS, somehow, has found a way.

Ashton Kutcher's Path From 'That '70s Show' To 'Two And A Half Men' - Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Ann Curry takes over on Today

Ann Curry, who can neither read nor speak well. moves from newsreader to co-host on The Today Show where she takes over for the departing Meredith Viera. Sure, she's a familiar face, but are we really that short on competent interviewers who actually know about the news?

WORST IDEA: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon reveal baby names

Celebrities never disappoint with the baby names. The boy is named "Moroccan" after the style part of Mariah Carey's house is decorated in and the girl, "Monroe" after the deceased, bloated model/actress/presidential mistress Marilyn Monroe.


Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon reveal baby names | Grand Forks Herald | Grand Forks, North Dakota: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

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WORST IDEA: NHL to stay with NBC, Versus

I like hockey and have no idea where Versus is on the dial.

NHL to stay with NBC, Versus as media outlets - ESPN: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Videocast take 3

We're back from the Worstcast studios in stunning full-color 2-D. No special glasses needed.

WOTW4 from Worst Of The Week on Vimeo.

WORST IDEA: Violent army crackdown on Cairo protesters shocks Egyptians

You mean Egypt won't become a democracy? The military overlords don;t plan to just turn over power? Next you'll tell me that some religious nut will end up as dictator...

Egypt protest: Violent army crackdown on Cairo protesters shocks Egyptians - latimes.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Dish Network wins bidding for Blockbuster

Congratulations, now you own Blockbuster. Well, maybe not so much on the congratulations.

Dish Network wins bidding for Blockbuster assets - MarketWatch: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Medical marijuana users fight for gun rights

I would think this is an either/or situation.

Medical Marijuana Users Fight For Gun Rights : NPR: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

New Worst of the Week videocast

I think I look a little less crazy this time. Fun, funny, full-length show. Audio-only version up later today...

WOTW 3 from Jason Tomaszewski on Vimeo.

Finally got the video thing down

Check us out live in 2D video coming to you straight from the Worstcast Studios in lovely Hartford, CT. Hoping I don't look as crazy throughout as I do in the opening still shot.

WOTW 2 from Worst Of The Week on Vimeo.

Take 2 on last week's videocast

Worst of the Week Video 1.5 from Jason Tomaszewski on Vimeo.

WORST IDEA: NCAA women's torunament

What a shock, UCONN opened up its tournament with a rout over Hartford -- one of a variety of first-round tourney routs. This happens because there are approximately four good women's college basketball teams and maybe four other that aren't terrible. Having a 64 team tournament makes as much sense as adding some high school teams into the NBA playoffs.

WORST IDEA: Costco selling wedding gowns

I can see saving money by buying a pallet of Rice Krispies or a drum of ketchup at Costco, but a wedding dress? Seems like that might not be the area to get a bulk discount.

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Worst of the Week Video 1 from Jason Tomaszewski on Vimeo.

WORST IDEA: AFLAC dumps Gilbert Gottfried

AFLAC has dumped Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of its cartoon duck after he posted an number of "insensitive" jokes about Japan to his Twitter account. Apparently, AFLAC had never watched any of the comedian's other material if they waited this long to be offended. Comedians make jokes. Their is humor in tragedy, even if it's painful humor.

WORST IDEA: Marathoner eats only McDonalds

If you're training for a marathon, you probably won't get fat eating only McDonalds, but that won't stop your innards from getting clogged up with McNugget and "special" sauce. What exactly is the point of this exercise, to show that fast food is fine for us, if we run 20 miles a day?

WORST IDEA: Daylight Savings Time

It's supposed to save energy. It doesn't. Sticking with this ridiculous system would be like changing in our alarm clocks for roosters. It's antiquated and no longer needed.

WORST IDEA: Worrying about the Hawaii 5-0 cast

In the wake of the tsunami that killed at least 1,000 people in Japan, one of the more popular Internet searches has been checking on the cast of Hawaii 5-0 in light of the fact that the wave was headed for Hawaii. People weren't searching whether everyone on the island was going to be wiped out. Instead, they were worried about the cast of their fifth favorite TV show.

WORST IDEA: Julie Taymor out as Spider-Man musical director

All I can say is, job well done.

WORST IDEA: Wal-Mart opening small stores

Wal-Mart plans to start opening "express," locations which will be about 1/10th the size of its regular stores. This should allow the chain to fully crush all local business and force everyone to have to shop in their dirty facilities full of Chinese crap.

WORST IDEA: Airlines ditch free snacks

Airlines now charge you for luggage and and blankets or pillows on some flights and, now, the intend to do away with free pretzels. I get charging me for a bagel or a bag of Skittles, but the tiny little bag of pretzels? What does this save, a couple thousand dollars industry-wide? How long until you have to pay extra to not share your seat with a poisonous snake?

No more pretzels? Airlines ditch free snacks - Travel - Travel Tips - msnbc.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Pajama Jeans

As if Americans weren't big enough slobs, we have now made jeans out of pajama material. Bring on the SweatPantsXedo for formal wear.

Would You Wear Pajama Jeans?: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Glee’ return

We get it, you can sing, now how about making a movie that doesn't suck?

TV Teaser: Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Glee’ Return – Deadline.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Hefty Heart Attack Grill spokesman dies at 29

Apparently being 575 pounds and shamelessly touting a restaurant that's proud of it's unhealthy food is a little dangerous. Who knew?

Blair River: Hefty Heart Attack Grill Spokesman Dies at 29 Following Flu - ABC News: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Fox News suspends Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum

FOX News has suspended the two politicians turned talking heads because they appear to be making moves to run for president, unlike, say FOX News' Mike Huckabee who is always running for president but remains on the air? And, since when is being partisan a negative on FOX news?

Why Fox News is suspending Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum - CSMonitor.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: The Oscar hosts

There's a reason comedians usually host these things -- comedians are funny. Anne Hathaway and James Franco are not and Franco is so over-exposed he actually appeared in the daydream I had while being bored by the Oscars.

Oscars Best and Worst | 2011 Academy Awards | MSN Movies: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Taylor Swift dates new guy: Glee's Chord Overstreet

He will break your heart. You will write a song about it. That song will sound like every other song you have ever written. Teen girls will swoon. Millions of albums will sell.


Taylor Swift Cozies With New Guy: Glee's Chord Overstreet! - Healthy Lifestyle - UsMagazine.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Kathleen Parker leaving show

This could also read," CNN decides to keep creepy hooker lover with weird ears.

CNN co-host Kathleen Parker leaving show - CNN.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Toyota recalls 2.1 million more vehicles to prevent gas pedals jams

I'm a little concerned about that family in the commercial where they keep passing down the Corollas.

Toyota recalls 2.1 million more vehicles to prevent gas pedals jams - Drive On: A conversation about the cars and trucks we drive - USATODAY.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Egyptian names baby "Facebook"

I get that Facebook helped in this whole faux revolution, and I even like the sentiment, but should a kid have to go through life with the name "Facebook?"

Egyptian Names Baby 'Facebook' For Site's Role in Revolution - ABC News: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: There's another "Big Momma" movie

America could never tire of a black guy playing a woman in a fat suit. Oh wait, we can. Your move Tyler Perry.

‘Unknown’ #1, ‘I Am Number Four’ #2; ‘Big Mommas’ #3; Will ‘Gnomeo’ Win Weekend? – Deadline.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Fantasia Barrino skips the Grammys

Fantasia Barrino skipped the Grammys because she wasn't asked to sing in the Aretha Franklin tribute. That might be because the people who did sing were actually stars. The performers were Jennifer Hudson, an Oscar winner, Christina Aguilera, Florence Welch of Florence + the Machine (a hot new act) and Martina McBride (a major country star). Barrino has never really sold any albums and basically squandered her chances as winner of American Idol. If she was snubbed, then I was snubbed and so was everyone else not asked to sing at the Grammys. Fantasia should be happy she was invited to the Grammys.

Fantasia Barrino - Yahoo! Search Results: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Sarah hints at WH run, slams Obamas

She said she's qualified because as a working mom she has to multi-task. I'm a working parent, write a column, a blog, host a podcast and do significant freelance work. Can I be president too?

Sarah hints at WH run, slams Obamas - Maggie Haberman - POLITICO.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Lady Gaga spent 72 hours inside Grammy egg

Did it have a bathroom? Couldn't she have spent some of that time writing a better new single?

Lady Gaga Spent 72 Hours Inside Grammy Egg; 'It Was a Creative Experience' - The Hollywood Reporter: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: The Lady Gaga egg

We get it, you like people to talk about you. Unfortunately, the egg and your whole Grammy performance of your not-catchy, Madonna b-side of a new song, was not clever. The meat dress was ridiculous, but inspired. The egg was just a little kid mooning the crowd so people pay attention to him.

WORST IDEA: AT&T sweetens the iPhone pot with extra minutes

Can they throw in a phone on another network so I can actually make phone calls?

AT&T sweetens the iPhone pot with extra minutes | Crave - CNET: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: LeBron James, heckling fan exchange words

Talent might bring you money and fame, but all the talent in the world can't teach you turn the other cheek.

LeBron James, heckling fan exchange words during game vs. Detroit Pistons - ESPN: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Camille and Kelsey Grammer officially divorced

They did it quickly so he could get married again, without a pre-nup. That should work out.

Camille and Kelsey Grammer -- Officially Divorced | TMZ.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Test gets almost 1 in 5 syphilis cases wrong

On the positive side, you don't have syphilis. One the negative, the false positive that 20% of people taking the test get caused you to call every person you ever "dated" and tell them you did.

Test gets almost 1 in 5 syphilis cases wrong - Health - Sexual health - msnbc.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Hosni Mubarak won't quit

When your entire country has taken to protesting you, that might be the time to take the billions you stole from them and head for the hills.

Hosni Mubarak Has Left Cairo -- Daily Intel: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Lohan to be charged with grand theft

Jail must be much more fun than it looks because Lindsay Lohan just can't keep herself away. Now she seems likely to be arrested for stealing a necklace. Doesn't she have a jewelry line?

Lohan to be charged with grand theft - omg! news on Yahoo!: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Tennessee Titans fire O-coordinator Mike Heimerdinger

First they interview him for the head job and a few days later they fire him. This would be reasonable if he wasn't battling cancer. Heimerdinger actually went through chemotherapy without missing a game last year and, still, he gets fired. Should be easy to get another job now that all the coaching staffs have filled up and, you still have, you know, cancer.

Tennessee Titans fire O-coordinator Mike Heimerdinger - ESPN: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Christina Aguilera forgets the National Anthem

If I was singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, I would at least make an effort to memorize the words. I would also try to not look like a drag queen in a Hannah Montana wig. Christian Aguilera apparently has a different approach.

Christina Aguilera Apologizes For Super Bowl National Anthem Flub - Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Cavs’ skid hits 24

We know you lost Lebron James, but shouldn't the Cavaliers have some pride and maybe win a game every now and then? On the positive side, losing 24 games in a row is a record, so at leas Cavaliers fans can call this "a record-setting season."

Cavs’ skid hits 24 - The Boston Globe: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: 2 Live Crew's Uncle Luke running for mayor

Isn't this the guy who wrote, "Me So Horny?" I guess that qualifies you to be mayor. His big platform piece is taxing strippers. Does the government really need more crumpled up ones?

2 Live Crew's Uncle Luke running for mayor - MSN Music News: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Wear red day to fight heart disease?

First it was pink ribbons, now I have to wear red to fight heart disease? Every illness has a color and it's all just silly. I'm against heart disease. I don't like lung cancer and I'm really opposed to hepatitis. I'm just not going to dress for any of those things.

Did You Participate In Wear Red Day To Fight Heart Disease? | SmartAboutHealth.Net: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Black Eyed Peas playing .Super Bowl

Perhaps the worst example of focus group pop crap, the Black Eyed Peas are playing the Super Bowl halftime show. In past years that slot had gone to actual artists like Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty and the Rolling Stones. In comparison to those acts, the Black Eyed Peas are like Taco Bell to the previous acts' Morton's. WillIam? YesUSuck.

WORST IDEA: Charlie Sheen's porn house

Charlie Sheen plans to buy a $20 million house and stock it with a virtual Noah's Ark of porn girls. He'll have two of every type and, of course, plans to pay them well for being part of his non-stop party. This seems like a great idea if you're a 13-year-old boy, but as an adult, I see a few holes in the plan.

WORST IDEA: D&D a threat to prisons

Prison officials are worried about prisoners playing Dungeons & Dragons because they believe that the role-playing games structures mimics gang structures. Not to be picky, but aren't prisons full of actual gangs? Should we be worried about the prison dorks in pretend gangs?

FoxNews.com - Dungeons and Dragons Threatens Prison Security, Court Rules: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEAL Charlie Sheen checks Into rehab

Why end the good times? You get paid millions. Women, hookers and drug dealers love you. Your show isn't funny, yet it's number one. If anyone needs rehab, it certainly isn't Charlie Sheen. Cocaine and hookers for everyone.

Charlie Sheen Checks In to Rehab | TMZ.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Egypt shuts down the Internet

I guess when you're attempting to sell radical Islam and poverty to your people that Facebook can get in the way. So much for Egypt being a progressive Muslim nation. God forbid somebody gets a Twitter from Paris Hilton. Literally, god forbids it, or you'll get your eyes poked out and your hands cut off.

Egypt's Internet block aims at social media - Computerworld: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Bristol Pailin getting $20K to speak on sexual responsibility

A friend of mine who went to Washington University in St. Louis is rightly outraged that student funds are being used to have Bristol Palin speak on campus. The topic is, of course, sexual responsibility which Palin hardly seems like an expert on. I'm not exactly sure how having a famous mom and having a baby as a teenager makes you a $20K speaker, but I'm planning on skateboarding down the highway during rush hour, can I get a few bucks to speak on "making good choices?"

Treasury funds Bristol Palin to speak on campus | Student Life: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Chad Ochocinco is changing his name

The name stuff was sort of cute when you were, you know, good, but now it's just ridiculous. Nobody needs to know your name when you're playing for the Bengals.

Chad Ochocinco is changing his name again - Shutdown Corner - NFL  - Yahoo! Sports: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Taco Bell sued over definition of meat

A class action lawsuit accuses Taco Bell of not putting enough actual meat into its tacos to refer to the filling as "beef."

Yum!'s Taco Bell 'Meat' Prompts Law Suit - TheStreet: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: MSNBC cancels Keith Olbermann

Does anyone watch anything else on MSNBC? I know Olbermann's a jerk, but he's a jerk with personality. If silencing interesting voices who criticize the right wing is going to be the byproduct of the Comcast takeover of NBC, then MSNBC might as well turn off the lights now. Good news though, Piers Morgan is still on CNN, so while we won't have Olbermann's funny, opinionated take, we will still have tedious non-probing interviews.

Keith Olbermann out at MSNBC - NYPOST.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: George Clooney has malaria

We get it, you really, really, care about Africa. I'm sure those ER episodes about the plight of the African people totally fixed things and you just caught some of that leftover, bad luck malaria.

Celebritology 2.0 - George Clooney isn't the only celeb to battle malaria: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Cleveland Cavaliers offer homeless man with radio-ready voice a job

Maybe the Cavs should consider why he was homeless (drug and alcohol problems) and maybe not just go for the quick PR score. Perhaps his nine kids should raise another red flag?

Cleveland Cavaliers offer homeless man with radio-ready voice a job - ESPN: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: Florida man living in lions' den

I know the housing market is tight, but living with lions seems like an especially bad idea. Lions, for those who aren't familiar, tend to eat people when they get too close. I know The Lion King makes you think they are warm and fuzzy -- and they are -- right up until they eat you.

Florida man living in lions' den to raise money for wildlife center: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"