WORST IDEA 8/31/10: Friendly's cheeseburger served on a grilled cheese

As if Friendly's wasn't fattening enough, the chain now offers a cheeseburger served on not one, but two grilled cheese sandwiches. With over 1,500 calories and 97 grams of fat this monster pretty much contains all the calories you need for a full day not counting that you will likely eat it with fries, a soda and probably some ice cream.

Scariest New Restaurant Foods

WORST IDEA 8/30/10: Scheduling "meet the teacher" for an entire school at the same time

My son's school has parking for about 50 cars. So, of course, the principal scheduled all grades (K-4)for a "meet your new teacher" session over a 45 minute period. We had to park so far away we should have walked from home and I'm sure the neighbors who had cars overrun their streets were just thrilled. Totally worth it to spend 8 seconds with the new teacher and get to see exactly which desk my child will be sitting at.

WORST IDEA 8/29/10: Michael Jackson remembered on his 51st birthday

I remmber that he as a child rapist and generally pretty creepy. I also remember that his music has not held up well at all and that the "Thriller" video was utterly ridiculous. Jackson 5? Sure. Anything post Thriller, absolutely not. [Grab crotch and shriek]

Michael Jackson remembered in LA on his 51st birthday (photos) - Los Angeles Travel | Examiner.com

WORST IDEA 8/28/10: Entering UFC without any training

While technically a boxer has the chance of scoring a big punch knockout in a mixed martial arts fight, it's essentially insane to enter a UFC octagon without being trained in fighting beyond boxing. Since fighter won't just stand there and get hit a boxer with no wrestling or submission skills is likely going to get destroyed. That's exactly what happened to James Toney when he fought Randy Couture on Saturday night. Toney tried a punch, Couture took him down and in a few seconds, the fight was over.

UFC 118: Randy Couture turns lights out on James Toney - ESPN

WORST IDEA 8/27/10: Michael Lohan to open a rehab center

On the plus side, he has experience, but on the realisitc side a track record of drug abuse and driving your family to drug abuse may not be the best credentials for opening a rehab center. Looking forward to John Gosselin's marriage counseling service.

Michael Lohan to Open & Run His Own Rehab Center | OK! Magazine - The First for Celebrity News

WORST IDEA 8/26/10: Not paying your taxes, mate

Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan has been confined to Australia as the country won't let him leave due to millions in unpaid taxes. This strikes me as odd because in order to incur taxes, you have to work, something Hogan has not done much of recently. Will this mean two of Hollywood's biggest franchise characters (both played by actors owing big tax bills will soon face off. I, for one, am dusting off my script for Crocodile Dundee vs. Blade. I'm also suing Hostess to get them to rerelease the Chocodile, but that's unrelated.

Reuters: Taxman bars Crocodile Dundee from leaving Australia

BONUS WORST IDEA 2 8/25/10: Lindsay Lohan released from rehab early

I'm sure she fine and more than ready to get back to partying. Despite her dozens of failed previous attempts at getting clean, I'm sure a few days in jail and less than a month in rehab did the trick this time.

Lindsay Lohan News | Lindsay Lohan Released From Rehab Early

BONUS WORST IDEA 8/25/10: Dan Quayle's son wins congressional primary

Let's hope the apple has fallen a little farther from the tree than is typical. Given his not-so-secret past writing semi-porn under a fake name, I'm nthinking, not so much.

The Associated Press: Dan Quayle's son wins congressional primary

WORST IDEA 8/25/10: Sarah Palin-backed candidate leading in Alaska

The Senate candidate in Alaska backed by Sarah Palin has a slight lead over the heavily favored incumbent. Taking Sarah Palin's advice on who to vote for is a lot like taking BP's advice on handling a crisis. It simply seems impossible that a woman who clearly has been a triumph of image over substance would be taken seriously by anyone. I'm not sure how her people managed to convince the public that she's not stupid, she "speaks like regular people." Personally, I want my politicians smart, not at all like the "average" voter and at least somewhat aware of what's going on in the world.

First Read - Murkowski trails against Miller

WORST IDEA 8/24/10: 8Johnny Damon may turn down Red Sox

He's a folk hero in Boston and Detroit has about as much chance of making a playoff run as the Raiders do of winning the Super Bowl, yet Johnny Damon may block a trade to the Boston Red Sox. Damon has the contractual right and has said a lot of blather about enjoying tutoring the young guys in Detroit, but that seems absurd. On one hand, you get to be in a playoff race in which the Red Sox still control their own destiny. One other, you get to lose a lot in Detroit, which, if you haven't heard, is not exactly the nicest place to live.

Johnny Damon was targeted by the Boston Red Sox not to block another team but because they want him, according to a source. - ESPN Boston

WORST IDEA 8/23/10: Putting Jennifer Aniston in a movie

Now that The Switch has bombed, following three previous box-office disasters isn't it about time that Hollywood realizes that Jennifer Aniston does not sell movie tickets? Her previous film Management made $2 million in its entire run and her only real hits are Marley & Me, which had nothing to do with her and The Break-Up which was sold based on her real-life relationship disaster with Vince Vaughan.

Forbes.com: At What Point Will Hollywood Give Up On Jennifer Aniston?

WORST IDEA 8/22/10: Stephen Moyer marries Anna Paquin

Celebrity marriages almost never work, especially when a couple meets on set. In addition, regular marriages almost never work when one member of the couple publicly declares herself bisexual. I'm guessing the marriage of True Blood's Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin has as much chance for long-term success as their on-air vampire/part fairy relationship does. At least, they won't be attacked by werewolves.

News - Stephen Moyer Jumped Into Ocean After Wedding Anna Paquin - Celebrity News - UsMagazine.com

WORST IDEA 8/21/10: Letting Iran get nuclear weapons

Frankly, I'm not sure we should let Iran have a board with a nail in it, let alone nuclear weapons. Allowing Iran to build nuclear bombs is a lot like emptying out all the maximum security prisons and putting the released criminals on the honor system. Iran not only hates the United States, they hate us for our crazy indulgences like plumbing, women who more skin than their eyes and basic cable. What in the history of Iran would let anyone think that they would be responsible with nuclear weapons? Is it the beheadings? The crazy religious leaders having total control? Perhaps it's the hostage-taking and stoning of indfidels?

Iran's nuclear power plant a step closer to operation - latimes.com

WORST IDEA 8/20/10: Hating Obama for being a Muslim

Neatly one in five Americans believe that President Barack Obama is a Muslim according to a new pole. Despite the fact that the president is in fact Christian, like all American presidents, nearly 20% of the nation assumes him to be a Muslim. I wonder what percentage thinks he's Irish and what percentage won't take a position on whether he's black or not?

FOXNews.com - Ohio Congressional Candidate Says He Has No 'Position' on Whether Obama Muslim

WORST IDEA 8/19/10: The war in Iraq

The last American combat troops have left and it's hard to argue that Iraq is better off than before we started the war. Sad to lose the lives of so many American soldiers to "free" a country that seems to have no real interest in freedom. Our boys deserve better.

No rejoicing in Iraq as U.S. combat mission ends - latimes.com

WORST IDEA 8/18/10: Cheating because she makes more money

A new study shows that men are more likely to have an affair if their wife makes significantly more money than he does. This seems awfully self-destructive as one would think that men would be happy to spend their wife's money while sitting on the couch doing nothing. Instead, men apparently have such small egos that the idea of a woman making more cash than they do immediately sends them into the arms of the nearest harlot. Let me go on the record as saying that if my wife can make a bunch more money, I will not only not cheat, I will thankfully help her spend the extra money.

Infidelity Rises When She Makes More Than He Does

WORST IDEA 8/17/10: Remaking "Who's the Boss"

They're not calling it an actual remake, but the new ABC Family sitcom starring Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence steals the plot and basic structure from the epic Tony Danza sitcom. It's hard to imagine that Hart and Lawrence could replicate the magic that was Danza and Judith Light. It's also hard to fathom that in spijning the wheel of sitcom retreads that ABC Family could not come up with a better idea for these two. How about Hart as a failed actress who has to move back in with her mother with Lawrence as the endearing landlord? Why not Hart and Lawrence as strangers who get left a child to raise together when a mutual friend dies?

Teen stars all grown up: Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence get adult roles in 'Melissa & Joey'

WORST IDEA 8/16/10:Tila Tequila appears at Insane Clown Posse concert

Tila Tequila, famous for being popular on Facebook, appears surprised that fans at an Insane Clown Posse concert did not take kindly to her appearance on stage. Normally, of course, one would expect the fans of a band named Insance Clown Posse to be respectful and polite. Sadly, in this case, they threw rocks and human excrement at Ms. Tequila. She plans to sue. We plan to wait for judge to throw out lawsuit when the Insance Clown Posse's legal team (Sane Law Posse) points out that she was appearing on stage at an Insance Clown Posse concert.

Tila Tequila attacked by crowd during concert, vows to sue organizers - Reality TV World - News, information, episode summaries, message boards, chat and games for unscripted television programs

WORST IDEA 8/15/10: Taking your toddler for a motorcylce ride

Driving back from New Hampshire, Celine and I were treated to the site of a helmetless woman on a motorcycle with a child behind her who could not have been more than 4. This seems like a bad idea under any circumstances but an even worse one on a crowded highway with rain threatening. At least the child was wearing a helmet, so, hopefully, he or she will survive the crash and get a chance at a better parent through adoption.

WORST IDEA 8/14/10: ‘Step Up 3D’s Jon Chu To Direct Justin Bieber film

Famous for his combover and really crappy teen pop, Justin Beiber becomes the latest music star to have a movie made about his life. Not quite as accomplished as say, Johnny Cash, Bieber did manage to get a lot of pre-teen girls to scream. He has also managed to completely reimagine Donald Trump's hairstlye and make it popular again.

Paramount Hires ‘Step Up 3D’s Jon Chu To Direct Justin Bieber Pic – Deadline.com

WORST IDEA 8/13/10: Jean-Claude Van Damme turns down movie role

Jean Claude Van Damme, who hasn't been a star since 1992 or so, turned down a role in Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables for artistic reasons. The actor, who once played an action hero who ended up in goal for the Pittsburgh Penguins during a playoff game, found being in what's now the top movie in the country beneath him. I'm sure that making direct-to-DVD movies for the foreign market is oh so fulfilling and the "Muscles from Brussels" does not regret this decision at all.

Movie Talk: Why Was Jean-Claude Van Damme Deemed Expendable for 'The Expendables'?

WORST IDEA 8/12/10: New York Mets' Francisco Rodriguez charged with assault on father-in-law

As if being a New York Met wasn't bad enough, reliever Francisco Rodriguez further embarrassed himself by assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field (the Mets' ballpark). Rodriguez was arrested and being held at the ballpark early Thursday. His father-in-law was in a hospital with a scrape on his face and a bump on his head.

Police: New York Mets' Francisco Rodriguez charged with assault on father-in-law - ESPN New York: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA 8/11/10: Evander Holyfield to fight in November

Already more than a little punch drunk, Evander Holyfield plans to fight again in November at the age of 48. I imagine that Holyfield plans to fight until he knocks out his last few functioning brain cells. Even in the corrupt world of boxing, Holyfield can't possibly need the money so he's either fighting because he has nothing else to do or he just can't stand to leave the spotlight.

Evander Holyfield to fight Sherman 'The Tank' Williams in November - ESPN

WORST IDEA 8/10/10: Levi Johnston to run for mayor

The people of Wasilla, Alaska deserve better. Not only do they live in a frozen wasteland, they spent years saddled with Sarah Palin as mayor and now they face the prospect of Levi Johnston running for that office. Johnston, the father of Palin's daughter's child, is shopping a reality show where he would run for mayor of the small town. A decent high school hockey player whose only skill appears to be his ability to impregnate teenage girls, Johnston would bring approximately no experience to the mayor's office. Given those credentials, perhaps he should instead consider a run for vice president or maybe a bid to take over BP's cleanup efforts in the Gulf.

Levi Johnston to Run for Mayor in Reality Pitch - ABC News

WORST IDEA 8/9/10: Finalist dies at world sauna championships

Sitting in a sauna does not count as a sport. And, as much as I enjoy saunas, it has never ocurred to me to sit in one for so long that death would be possible. In general, once the sweat starts stinging your eyes, it's time to get out, shower and go about your day. Sadly, that was not how they went about it at the world sauna championships, where one contestant died and another was rushed to the hospital with severe burns. Well, at least they died making the huge dollars associated with international suana competitions.

Finalist dies at world sauna championships - CNN.com

WORST IDEA 8/8/10: Genetically modified fruit

Just because scientists can make an apple as red on the inside as it is on the outside, does not mean that they should. It seems that genetically modified fruit has begun to escape the lab and make its way into the wild. This Franken-Fruits can harm traditional growing fruits and may do untold damage. And, of course, they haven't been tested and we have no idea what they may do to people, animals and the environment in general. Even better, there's not much we can do to stop these monster strains of fruit from taking over.

FOXNews.com - Genetically Modified Plants on the Loose and Spreading, Scientists Report: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA 8/7/10: Knicks rehire Isiah Thomas

Not since the reelection of George Bush (and the upcoming reelection of Barack Obama) has someone who failed so greatly been so quickly welcomed back into the fold. Isiah Thomas buried the Knicks under bad contracts, cost them $11.5 million in a sexual harassment lawsuit and led them to multiple losing seasons. For doing that, he rightly got fired. Since then, nothing has changed except history allows us to see just how awful is track record was, but that has not stopped Knicks' owner James Dolan from welcoming Thomas back as a paid consultant. Dolan's next move? Campaign manager for John Edwards' 2012 presidential campaign.

Isiah Thomas Returns to Knicks as a Consultant - NYTimes.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA: 8/6/10: Google Wave

What's that, you don't know what it is? Well, neither did Google. Part social media site, part collaboration tool, all disaster, Google Wave got a lot of hype, nobody used it and now it's gone. Google announced this week that it would drop the confusing product, which should upset essentially noone.

Google Wave Slayed by Facebook and Twitter - PCWorld: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WORST IDEA 8/5/10: Celtics sign Shaquille O'Neal

Hard to imagine how General Manager Danny Aigne looked at the roster for the Boston Celtics and thought, "I know, we need to get older and more injury prone." That had to be his logic, though, as the team signed the aging, somewhat broken-down and very much overweight Shaquille O'Neal. These days Shaq might be a better rapper than basketball player, well, he's not a very good rapper. Still, Shaq's presence in Boston should make for some interesting press conferences and will likely help the team in its quest to have the most centers on the injured list at one time.

Shaquille O'Neal, Celtics seal 2-year deal | freep.com | Detroit Free Press

WORST IDEA 8/3/10: Duct tape dresses

Created for a contest sponsored by a duct tape maker, the duct tape prom dress seems like a bad idea no matter how big the prize. On the plus side, taking off the duct tape dress will remove any need for waxing or shaving for the foreseebale future. And, you can probably sell the dress to Lady Gaga when you're done.

Stuck at Prom Contestants - Sticky Competition: Duct-Tape Dress a Winner at Prom on Shine

WORST IDEA 8/2/10: Lady Gaga claims she still does cocaine

Not exactly a role model, Lady Gaga may want to at least not publicly talk about how while "she never really liked heroin, she does mostly cocaine." This might explain why the 20-something singer looks a 60-year-old diner waitress. I'm sure she'll make up some excuse about how her whole life is a performance, which was her explanation for being a drunken ass at a Yankees game, but, really, she's just Cindy Lauper without the talent.

Lady Gaga claims she still does cocaine - Monsters and Critics

WORST IDEA 8/1/10: The Yogi Bear movie

If Garfield has taught us anything (and he hasn't) it's that beloved children's characters not famous for movies should not be turned into movies. That is not stopping the Yogi Bear movie which has a weird pro-environment plot and features Yogi teaming up with his nemesis, Ranger Smith. This might be as lame as those new Tom & Jerry cartoons where the cat and mouse get along.

Yogi Bear (2010) - Movie Info - Yahoo! Movies